a simple hello

Sometimes you ever wonder how life can be soo good to you and your on this natural high because soo many things seem to be going your way! I had this high for about a good month, it felt awesome, i ran with joy and looked forward to running and how good it felt to be sweaty, i enjoyed my friends, I actually picked up the phone and reached out to people. I prayed and when I did pray whether it was before I fell asleep at night with my favorite pillow or if it was on my walk to work and did a quick lil prayer to god I was thankful, thankful for soo many things in my life. I repeatedly thank god for all the challenges he had for me, for all the things he has brought into my life! I enjoyed cooking more and more in my little apartment, I enjoyed the tofu nuggets and actually requested more of them from my roomy. I was HAPPY! HAPPPPPPY!

I am happy for the most, day in and day out and there are not too many things in life that get me down, but again I was sooo happy, overly happy and in one day, ok in a few days I felt like a little stone being kicked around on the ground and all I wanted to do was ball up and cry to my sister and my mom. I did, haha, ok to my sister. Day one felt like my expressions to others are not spoken enough and my words needs to be louder maybe, more apparent, part of me wanted to YELL WTF do you want me to say!?!? I didn't because again I struggle with my words....

Again bless my sister for her simple "hello" - a hello was all it took for the tears to come strolling down my eyes as I pushed my face into my pillow crying my lil heart out to my sister about life. I was trying to think of the last time I let myself cry like this, soo easily, almost too easily, as though these tears were waiting and we need to shed a tear every now and then..hmm..well t had been two days in a row of being kicked around, or at least that is how I felt. Day two is just something that life throws at you or at me and all I am going to do is roll with the punches and attempt to work it out day by day...

It's thursday I am feeling better, a lot better and know that things happen for a reason and I am still happy, I made myself go for a nice long run yesterday and I laid out on my roof and got some Sun, because the sun cant help but make one feel good! I have ignored my cell and my emails this week...but I thanks god for my sister and my mom and how much I still rely and need them daily, daily! My older sister is my mini mom, my mom is always going to be that mom who sometimes simply lets me cry and doesn't tell me how to fix things but again just listens to her daughter, to me....