a coflict unresolved
It's easy to think we can mold, impact and change a child's mindset, their train of thought may be easily shifted to another track, so to speak. Some can say or believe that children are like blank slates, and we as adults have the chalk to fill their slate up with continued learning. Nature versus nature. Children are born that way and not one person can change their so called genetic attitude.
A mindset to conflict resolution or lack there of......
I work with chidlren,
for example, two or more children whose arguments, whose disagreements between one another requires immediate adult attention. As a teacher, we simply assist children in conflict resolutions. Childrens working on their social skills that will help them as they continue to grow and interact with other's on a daily basis.
It's normal for children to approach a teacher and say; No! To sometimes scream at the top of their raspy voices, who appear to have been hit with the worse scenario as they whine, "Miss Melissa, Michael hit me, or Michael won't let me sit by him, or Miss Melissa, Sarah is being mean to me." I respond with the following, did you tell so and so that you don't like what they said or did?" or "What can you tell so and so?" or "Can you ask so and so why won't let you play, sit or talk with them? and last, "Did you tell so and so how that made you feel?"
Children come to teacher's to solve their conflicts, their problems they feel need immediate attention! As adult, we do not FORCE apologies, children are sometimes not aware that saying sorry has meaning to it. Children are given the opportunity to freely, I say freely as it is the child's choice of wording that is being expressed, to freely express their thoughts to another child in turn helping them to recognize other childrens feelings and that their thoughts are not everyone else's.
Now granted all children are not given that lesson in life on how to resolve conflict, we cannot generalize and must assume that children all vary in their development. Children may never be exposed to handle situations and solve their conflicts which can lead to struggles later in life if they never attempt to resolve their conflicts. What does this lead to.......adults whose anger has never been addressed and they go on to lead lives that allow them to yell and shout and walk away from conflicts unresolved.
I don't know that I really was taught as a child to solve problems that arised with other children....at least im sitting here attempting to think back....I also in my later years because I'm soo old and aged in my 28 years of life, (^_^) used to avoid conflict at all causes. I'm working on that and know that it takes time to change my set ways of living and thinking. I look at it as still being young and realizing I need to deal with issues when they arise and attempt to confront others when it bothers me. lets call it my, Growing process that is in effect......
Now I continue to work with children and help them to deal with their conflicts too, the great thing about children and their everyday conflicts between other children, they simply let go and move on and forget that 5 minutes ago they wanted to cry and were upset.
Now my issue is with people who openly admit that they dont know how to deal with tense situations and show their angry side and walk away. AS AN ADULT....so does this excuse the person when this happens time and time again? How does one constitute that as being ok and them simply saying "I'm trying to work on my anger." Especially when I've seen it happen more than often......
If an adult is well into their older years and seeming to be set their way, do I bother to worry that they will change.
Vuriousity at its prime as I wonder and wait for this adult to have another outburst and for a hour or so to go by for them to say, "I dont know how to handle situations like that and I get upset and walk away. I'm attempting to deal with it......."
in other words, Attempting but not this time or next time by the way......
gee thanks........
A mindset to conflict resolution or lack there of......
I work with chidlren,
for example, two or more children whose arguments, whose disagreements between one another requires immediate adult attention. As a teacher, we simply assist children in conflict resolutions. Childrens working on their social skills that will help them as they continue to grow and interact with other's on a daily basis.
It's normal for children to approach a teacher and say; No! To sometimes scream at the top of their raspy voices, who appear to have been hit with the worse scenario as they whine, "Miss Melissa, Michael hit me, or Michael won't let me sit by him, or Miss Melissa, Sarah is being mean to me." I respond with the following, did you tell so and so that you don't like what they said or did?" or "What can you tell so and so?" or "Can you ask so and so why won't let you play, sit or talk with them? and last, "Did you tell so and so how that made you feel?"
Children come to teacher's to solve their conflicts, their problems they feel need immediate attention! As adult, we do not FORCE apologies, children are sometimes not aware that saying sorry has meaning to it. Children are given the opportunity to freely, I say freely as it is the child's choice of wording that is being expressed, to freely express their thoughts to another child in turn helping them to recognize other childrens feelings and that their thoughts are not everyone else's.
Now granted all children are not given that lesson in life on how to resolve conflict, we cannot generalize and must assume that children all vary in their development. Children may never be exposed to handle situations and solve their conflicts which can lead to struggles later in life if they never attempt to resolve their conflicts. What does this lead to.......adults whose anger has never been addressed and they go on to lead lives that allow them to yell and shout and walk away from conflicts unresolved.
I don't know that I really was taught as a child to solve problems that arised with other children....at least im sitting here attempting to think back....I also in my later years because I'm soo old and aged in my 28 years of life, (^_^) used to avoid conflict at all causes. I'm working on that and know that it takes time to change my set ways of living and thinking. I look at it as still being young and realizing I need to deal with issues when they arise and attempt to confront others when it bothers me. lets call it my, Growing process that is in effect......
Now I continue to work with children and help them to deal with their conflicts too, the great thing about children and their everyday conflicts between other children, they simply let go and move on and forget that 5 minutes ago they wanted to cry and were upset.
Now my issue is with people who openly admit that they dont know how to deal with tense situations and show their angry side and walk away. AS AN ADULT....so does this excuse the person when this happens time and time again? How does one constitute that as being ok and them simply saying "I'm trying to work on my anger." Especially when I've seen it happen more than often......
If an adult is well into their older years and seeming to be set their way, do I bother to worry that they will change.
Vuriousity at its prime as I wonder and wait for this adult to have another outburst and for a hour or so to go by for them to say, "I dont know how to handle situations like that and I get upset and walk away. I'm attempting to deal with it......."
in other words, Attempting but not this time or next time by the way......
gee thanks........
posted by Melissssss at 10:21 AM
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