An overflowing train tonight
Halfway through my work week, three days in three to go; i am enjoying the work week, waking up and having a reason to leave the apartment, swipe my SmartCard and head into the city on the WorldTradeCenter train. I am currently watching the presidential debate attempting to blog as I roll my eyes at McCain! ROLL my EYES many a times, from the moment words exit McCains mouth to that damn smirk when he turns his head to hear Obama's response, to lastly, the endless blinks from McCains eyes, someone please give this man some damn eye drops! Good Lord.
Sooo many thoughts, emotions and sensations running amuck through my heart, mind and body in the past few weeks. I want to acknowledge them and make sure they are warranted. There are many reasons why these emotions, sensations and thoughts are currently overflowing. New faces and new routes in my daily doings yet missed conversations, missed voices of hearing good morning melilssa, smiles I will no longer endure on a daily basis. I made decisions without letting anyone play devil's advocate. I, I quit work a little over three weeks ago with no job lined up. No job to report to the following day. Knowing I quit something brought about frustration, questioning myself because I am the girl who has never quit something I started. I will say never, because I don't know of a single thing, a single moment in my 29 years of living that I ever quit. The moment I officially left Tribeca Community School allowed me to breathe again, blessed my stomach feel hungry and to simply appreciate and respect who I am. I realize I am no longer a co-teacher with Elly, no longer a co-teacher to children whose parents I actually come to appreciate, no longer a colleague to some of the greatest friends and teachers I have come to love and miss daily as I no longer have them in my daily view. I made a decision solely on my own and currently am content that I am no longer a co-teacher in a school that could have made great marks in the Reggio Emilia world.
Welcoming a friend into my heart and consenting myself to slowly open up is renewed, leaving a sense of hunger and eagerness in my mind and body is exciting and yet somewhat alarming. I must admit for the past three years I was this closed off girl who didn't allow anyone into my heart and my thoughts. As I spent a heartwarming wkd with this friend, I look forward to him becoming my ally, the one who becomes my better half, becoming his best friend and most importantly the one whose opinion matters at the end of the night.
As I continue to gather and sort out these thoughts and share them with my family and friends, I look forward to waking up again, letting the water from the shower awaken me for a new day. Good'night
Sooo many thoughts, emotions and sensations running amuck through my heart, mind and body in the past few weeks. I want to acknowledge them and make sure they are warranted. There are many reasons why these emotions, sensations and thoughts are currently overflowing. New faces and new routes in my daily doings yet missed conversations, missed voices of hearing good morning melilssa, smiles I will no longer endure on a daily basis. I made decisions without letting anyone play devil's advocate. I, I quit work a little over three weeks ago with no job lined up. No job to report to the following day. Knowing I quit something brought about frustration, questioning myself because I am the girl who has never quit something I started. I will say never, because I don't know of a single thing, a single moment in my 29 years of living that I ever quit. The moment I officially left Tribeca Community School allowed me to breathe again, blessed my stomach feel hungry and to simply appreciate and respect who I am. I realize I am no longer a co-teacher with Elly, no longer a co-teacher to children whose parents I actually come to appreciate, no longer a colleague to some of the greatest friends and teachers I have come to love and miss daily as I no longer have them in my daily view. I made a decision solely on my own and currently am content that I am no longer a co-teacher in a school that could have made great marks in the Reggio Emilia world.
Welcoming a friend into my heart and consenting myself to slowly open up is renewed, leaving a sense of hunger and eagerness in my mind and body is exciting and yet somewhat alarming. I must admit for the past three years I was this closed off girl who didn't allow anyone into my heart and my thoughts. As I spent a heartwarming wkd with this friend, I look forward to him becoming my ally, the one who becomes my better half, becoming his best friend and most importantly the one whose opinion matters at the end of the night.
As I continue to gather and sort out these thoughts and share them with my family and friends, I look forward to waking up again, letting the water from the shower awaken me for a new day. Good'night
posted by Melissssss at 6:46 PM
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