FINALLY

I recently sent out a email and realized I had mentioned finally for a number of things in the email..there have been lots of finally's in my days past.

Finally had fun for an entire wkd, actually two wkds in a ROW!

Finally the weather is nice! Talk about spring fever..holy shit Im ready for some warm sun against my skin, the breeze to cool me in my running like Forrest Gump motives these days.....Ice cold bev's outside....ok am close or spring is close, very close.....

Finally am confident in my soon to be running 10 miles in May to benefit the CANCER SOCIETY! I am up to running 30-35 MINUTES non-stop these days! It's given meee soo much more confindence than I've carried with me for a while now....I am now looking fw to my run in PHILLY MAY 6th!!!!! keep me in your prayers to run my lil heart out friends!

Finally got to see the BODIES EXHIBITION in NYC! (I am thinking about going back because there was alot of things to take in visually and mentally in one setting...lol)

Finally am ok, am soo close to being there on letting the hurt go from not being home for my Grandma Nancy's funeral and adoption. I was walking out of the corner store the other day and a lady was walking in and it hit me, she seemed to be my grandma nancy, not soo much in her physical features...but he long cloth skirt, her cute lil button up shirt and gray hair done up like every grandma puts them rollers in the night before. I smiled when I seen her and thought instantly of my grandma who YES, YES I know she is looking down on meeee....I still miss her and have that right in my heart.....here's a picture of her and my dad a few years back at our home for the Black Hills Pow wow that I want to share with you all......

This is really one of my favorite pics of my grandma, who is always quiet yet soo attentive but her smile and simpleness in this picture pleases and comforts meee in sooooo many ways!!

Now I somewhat feel odd talking about my grandma then jumping back to my FINALLY's and how Ive been happy these days beacuse of finally's....

Two weeks ago.....I finally found a black top that I actually LIKED! So my faithful roomate and partner in drinking crime and I ventured down to Hoboken, NJ after the damn ice storm attempted to dampen/icen' up the wkd...we got our drink on of course but as you can see in the pics the walk from the cab to the house which is a total of 15 feet brought numerous LAUGHS at 3am!!

She attempted in her sweet heart to make me, NO I take that back to FORCE me to smile and laugh before I laid my head to rest for the night......

I sillyish drunk texted then dialed only to say something I dont know that I would ever have the guts to say sober but did on this night after a few Corona's in my system....ooooooh how them true feelings come out...and we say what our heart truly feels and wants to YELL out while sober but am silenced with fear of rejection or the truth.....so it takes me a few Corona's to admit what I think I love in life.... but really Im not sure even sure Im really lonely these days and am still wondering what made me admit it of all the times possible...past and present

Katia wanted to jump into the snow in front of our house...but only when we jumped in the SNOW, AKA ICE; that had built up decieved us, it looked like snow but was hard as hell....the shit didnt budge one inch when we piled our bodies into it! Here katia tried to make meeee laugh!

Yet again...

I then took a turn with the sign pole in which Katia captured my hands...

Finallly I smiled.......with myself.....and her complaining about the ICE hurting her body and us walking into the house laughing hystericallly!
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Now onto last wk....

FINALLY I was able to run outdoors...friday and sunday...Friday solo...and it was soo simple I surprised myself...

I got home friday evening and TOLD my roomate that I felt like if we stay home I will get sad and depressed and lonely...dont let me get like that...as I tend to shut the world out including my roomy, sticking to myself......poor girl, has put up with many of my silent days; where I walk from room to room with no words from me! Im working on those moments becoming farther and few between..

Sooo ok....Sat we went into the CITY to SING SING for some Karaoke! we sang our fav's

I touch myself...first

next....Shoop

next....I love Rock and Roll

and FINALLLY!! Total Exlipse of the HEART....
I cant sing but LAWD knows I try to with my favorite Karaoke song!!!

Here are a few of the pics from the nite of SING SING!

K-Money aka..roomy/katia....Andrea (TFA'er) and me of course

K again..crazy ass Boston'r Mike and Andrea...

Ok I kept these photos without resizing them...Finally - the Bodies exhibit is located near Sout Seaport...so after the 2hr walk of the exhibit my favorite FRENCH girl..(really she is the first girl from France i've gotten to know *HA* )

Patricia walked me up and around the pier and we took in a beautiful view!

Below are two views of the BROOKLYN BRIDGE

Here....the view from the Pier looking back towards the Dock and the city...

Finally....I have been happy - for a extended period of time! *YEAH* *YEAH*
I appreciate my new friends, my new days, the volleyball games, my lil' munchkins at werk that keep me on my feet! I'm on MONTH 7 of my NJ experience...and FINALLY can say Im happy!!! (^_^)

*QUE BUENO*

*LILA WASTE*

maybe its that feeling of guilt that I have friends and family back home that are distant from me in that physical sense...phone calls and text messages only warm ones heart sooo much....
if your your still reading this lengthy blog - I will be in SD for EASTER! HOLLLLLLLLA at ya girl! (^_^) *HUGS*

3 to 1???

Ya ever sometimes feel very unlike you.....or what you thought defined you...hasn't for sometime...ok here I am questioning everything in a melissa fashion. It's been awhile...my bad for not blogging my lil heart out these days.

I seem to be only happy in one aspect of my current lifestyle out in NJ...ok maybe two, but some major ones are affecting me on a daily basis....work is sooooo blah for me, of course my heart is with the kids but many things within the work environment are leading me to quesiton my purpose at school, and really have I gotten my BA, and for the most my Masters in Early Childhood Education, Family and Child Studies to be an assistant who is bored most of the days. And damn why did I go into this low paying sometimes un-fascinating career.....My home, is not comforting, Im going to leave it at that but simply felt the need to ecpress it. I am still upset about losing my gramma Nancy....maybe more or less not being able to get home and I know I have missed a few funerals, but my gramma Nancy is my gramma nancy. Her quietness showed yet her smile Shined and just her simpleness of living awed me to realize one doesnt need much in life. She was a casino loving, buffet eating, pow wow going gramma. I could go on and on about how much I loved this woman and how much she meant to me, I just wished I would spent more time down in Tama with her!!!

Volleyball is gooood, can that really be the only thing that is keeping me here in NJ!

Other than that....I went into the city yesterday and had dinner with many drinks with my friend Patricia. She is soooo cute, and is just fun to be around with, I guess she can get a lil too drunk on occasion...my kind of friend....LOL!!! nah but I realize how much I value the diversity and culture of people around meeee...she is from France and is working at Columbia University, she knew little engligh 6 months and immersed herself with the English language and has done beautifully as backwards the English Language tends to be. I've realized how fast I tend to talk and slow down with her and use full explanations....It's soo easy for me to hop on a mini-bus 2 blocks from my house and be in Times Sq in 20-30 minutes for only $2! but damn if the damn places around times SQ are not EXPENSIVE!

I am trying to decide whether or not to give it another year here on the East Coast. I have never been one to quit or give up...maybe take a break but I am one to start and finish things...so I am at that point of thinking I am worried I will be mad at myself for going back to the midwest or worried others will look at me as giving up after a year of living on the EC! Although I do know, many people missssss meee! Who wouldn't! NAAAAAAAAAAAH JUS JOKING!

No pics, sorry, even though I do have my new camera!! I really want to get back into photography which has always been a passion of mine....I just need a nice, nice camera that right now is $800 without a 2nd lens! grrrr...this passion is currently on the backburner...

ok I hope you feel caught up on my random thoughts above! I am headed to SD for Easter...than yooooooou sister for buying me a tix to see my babies!!! Devin will be joining us, if anyone else is game for my sisters gooood eats, best couch in the world..HOLLLA!